who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
