I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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