uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She said her name was "party"
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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