I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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