wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I see more hoeing in ur future
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
