....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
