I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
