You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize