How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize