how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
