well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize