JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
