my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
