Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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