He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
