Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
