I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Randomize
