mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
