I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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