hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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