Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
