four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
