Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm at about main and main street
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
