Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
