whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's rum buckets o'clock
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