just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
God, I missed his penis.
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