What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We are all done wearing pants today
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
