You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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