the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
