please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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