I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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