hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
