is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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