His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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