Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Randomize