Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
