Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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