i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize