It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
