we're blogging at a bar
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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