Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
