how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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