PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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