He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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