Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
