But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
