yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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