i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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