nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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