OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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