Its about making memories worth repressing
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
