you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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