I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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