I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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