Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
