Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is wine microwaveable?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
