What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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