If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
