Pappa wants mamma naked
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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