??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
