I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
