I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
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