My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
