SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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